One step forward twelve back

I take a step forward,
Feeling kind of awkward.
I still feel like its right,
I feel like success I can bite.

But I doubt,
And my reason starts to shout.
I start to just think out loud,
I wonder if I should just back-out.

I weigh my chances,
And I start to lose balance.
I'm starting to feel dizzy,
But everyone to notice is to busy.

I am afraid I might trip,
But my lips I zip.
I manage to take the step,
But thoughts intercept.

I don't know what to say,
But I think I just need to obey.
I weigh again my options,
Thinking of the signs of caution.

I should have just made the steps without thinking,
Connections I start linking.
Its hard to understand what I am feeling,
With thousand of unresolved thoughts I am dealing.

I won't be here forever,
But I don't want to look back and think I said the word never.
I refuse to let this one go,
But I am unsure if I should just go with the flow.

I dont know what to do,
Of nothing I have a clue.
I wonder why I can't just walk ahead,
And I run out of things to say.

One step at a time,
Slowly I know I can make it.
But fear I have of falling,
And I feel my past calling.

So I forget about of taking that step,
And I run away.
One step forward,
Twelve steps back.

Just a dream

I think about you and me,

I can smell the flowers in the breeze. 

Everything is just as its supposed to be,

All perfect is what I see.

I wonder when my eyes will open again,

As my ego is in chains.

And finally myself I can show, 

Smiling I finally bow. 

I set my walls down,

I finally take off my crown.

I feel free somehow, 

Myself to fly through I allow. 

I let myself speak,

And forget if he might think I'm a freak.

I let the words flow, 

Through a reflection I see myself glow. 

I can stare into your eyes, 

To you I can never really lie. 

I've never had to say anything,

You already knew everything.

A perfect day indeed, 

But for you to say something I need.

And before you can say any words I can hear,

Everything turns too clear. 

Your image starts to fade away,

I wish you could have stayed. 

The light comes too bright to be able to see,

All I can do is agree.

I hear a voice, 

To open my eyes I have no choice.

Its so unfair, I want to scream!

It was only a dream.

Repetition

You watch the rain drops through your window and you think about yesterday.
You daydream about how things used to be and how they have changed.
Yesterday it was sunny.
Today is rainy.
How could in a matter of hours something change so drastically.
From all sunny, to all rainy.
From all happy, to all sad.
From all good, to all complicated.
Why?
So tears start falling down your eyes.
As they have done days before yesterday.
And you see in your head a little girl.
She's long gone now but you can relate to her.
You still feel like her.
You still have the same heart.
But you are not her anymore.
Reality has hit you that she is long gone,
Just like one day you will be too.
Your stages you look back at,
With a sense of wanting to go back there.
But that road you have already taken,
And you know you will never look back.
You're looking for a way into finding a sunny day again.
And then you finally remember...
There are rainy days and there are sunny days.
But there cannot be rainbows without either.

Youth is wasted on the young

We've got the tools,
And still decide to act like fools.
We have the youth,
And we know the truth.

And still knowing the truth,
We decide to be uncouth.
And we let the world decide for us,
We just enjoy the fuss.

We decide to hide in the shadows,
And forget about the meadows.
About the beautiful,
And stick to what's more colorful.

Not all that shines is gold,
And its nothing but cold.
We focus on the fake,
And then wonder why people hate.

We see everyday,
But we forget to look.
We hear everyday,
But we forget to listen.

Hardheaded small people,
Who think that the world revolves around them.
Who think that the world owes them something,
And then cry when the world starts cutting.

Youth is wasted on the young,
To their inexperience they are clung.
And learn nothing but of themselves,
and book just stay on their shelves.

We all waste time,
And forget about what's prime.
Today is too late to regret,
Life is not a game you can just reset.

Keys

Every single one of them produces a distinct sound,
It can leave anyone astound.
A magical sound is produced,
And in a trance of beauty you're induced.

Impossible to understand the feeling,
You can just feel your heart healing.
You feel like every part in your body starts to feel numb,
And you wonder if you're just being dumb.

You feel as if love you could breathe,
As if from that spot you did not want to leave.
And wounds start healing,
with unresolved things you start dealing.

In a trance of happiness you feel transported,
And you can feel the puzzle is being sorted.
The weight off your shoulders is lightened,
And your day is suddenly brightened.

Inspiration is flowing through your veins,
And you feel the disappearance of all your pains.
The melody keeps singing in your brain,
You start to feel more sane.

Your fingers keep moving,
You just feel as if you were improving.
You feel like they're being more approving,
And all your pains it starts removing.

Time is slowing,
But your fingers keep singing.
You completely forget about tears,
And you start to accept your fears.

Inspiration keeps flowing through your veins,
And tears it starts to rain.
All your pain being washed away,
And you start thinking about the bay.

Slowly the melody disappears,
And again you start to see clear.
Such feeling must be a crime,
But mountains you feel you can climb!

Your fingers slow down,
And time goes back to its own pace.
To reality you are brought back,
Life never gives you slack.

Gun shot

In the past he was an innocent boy.
He was with the wrong people he thought he would enjoy.
At the wrong place he was.
And it was the wrong time to break the laws.

He broke the laws of his mind,
And thought that everything would be fine.
He wanted to fit in,
Thats the excuse he used to give.

Yesterday they sentenced him for life,
Just because he did not think twice.
At the time it all seem right,
And to his conscience he gave a big fight.

In the car he got in with guys who were drunk,
Guys who subjects had flunk.
Guys who had guns,
And who were just in it for the run.

He was too innocent to know,
So he just went with the flow.
And so the boys got the guns to rob a bank,
He always blamed it on how much they drank.

He did not know of their plans,
He was just looking to be one of the gang.
He did not know what was going on,
But now its too late, its all gone.

Today he regrets getting in the car,
And he wishes he did not spend half his life in a bar.
Ironic now he will never be outside bars,
And his decisions are there as permanent scars.






"Tell me who you hang out with, and I will tell you who you are"

Blank inspiration

I sit down and try and write down what's going through my head,
But my pen does not write, enough said.
Its ink is intact but my hand does not move,
My head does not know what to do.

I have everything I need,
But I fail to succeed.
Different colored pens, and papers are laid on my table,
But of no writing I am able.

I am so lost in my own world,
and everything seems curled.
My thoughts are messed,
I feel so stressed!

I used to write pages without thinking,
And now I feel like everything is just sinking.
In a boat where I have no destination,
I need a talent donation.

Its the wrong time,
But its not as sour as lime.
In fact its sweet,
I've never been more on my feet.

I continue to hide,
What I feel inside.
Not willingly but because I have no choice,
I've lost my voice.

I silently scream what I need you to know,
But outside its starting to snow.
I don't feel cold,
And again the pen I hold.

It does not write,
I still think that it might.
But nothing happens and I give up,
Put my pen away and my papers.

Once again I was unable to write what I wanted,
And by what I left unsaid I am haunted.
Thoughts scream at me,
But I ignore them happily.

Its the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you,
But no one's got a clue.
And the one's who can tell are just a few,
But I take a different pen and paper and write something new.