Purple flower

She saved her money wisely,
She would know what to say just exactly,
And she said "never let anything distract thee."

She would show me right from wrong.
I remember just wanting to go along,
Whenever she was around I felt like I belong.

She was sweet,
As sweet as when chocolate and sugar meet,
She was so neat.

Her upper lip was invisible,
And she would always color it with pencil,
As if she needed it, she was truly beautiful.

She had many more years than I did,
But she was far from boring,
Everyone just loved her.

She had golden and white hairs on her head,
And she always liked all her meals to have bread,
She always made me want to look ahead.

She had the most beautiful eyes,
They surely never lied,
But they always knew what was wrong with me, they were little spies.

She was just a happy soul,
Full of colorful stories to share,
Everyone would just want to stare.

And one day I saw the change in her eyes,
She could not stare into mine,
And that's when I knew everything was not fine.

She stopped eating,
She started hiding,
I knew they were lying.

And one day during the summer,
On the early morning I woke up feeling different,
I knew she was not with me anymore.

And I looked at my cousin with tears falling,
I could hear everyone calling,
While I just felt like crying.

I was a kid then,
But even then I knew she was a gem,
I felt like a rose being cut from the stem.

I knew that I would not see her again,
I just felt like I needed to complain!
But I needed to contain.

And so I never would see her,
But she was in me I was sure,
And that thought made it easier to endure.

I knew she would not want to see me crying,
So to stop crying I was trying,
And I knew that from somewhere she was eyeing.

She was looking over me,
So I looked at her picture happily,
I knew that was the least I could do.

I would miss her that was a given;
But in the right direction, she had made me driven,
I knew that she would be forgiving.

It was okay to miss her,
As long as it was with a smile of joy that's for sure,
I knew then that I was more mature.

So, I took my last look into her face;
A small purple flower in her hands I placed,
And I finally I moved away at my own pace.

In my mind I said my final goodbye,
I said I love you with tears in my eyes,
I knew everything would be alright.

I knew I would never forget that last summer,
But even today even though she is not around,
Her memory still manages to make me smile.


 "I love you"

In memory of one of the most amazing women that I have ever met. 
Rosario

Circus

Time for the party,
Lets pretend to be smarty,
And to look cool lets be tardy.

Lets dress up for halloween,
Lets look all mean,
Lets be the worst the world has seen.

We look in the mirror,
And when we stare we have to look nearer,
As if we saw a new us, someone clearer.

And we put on our blush,
Which is just meant to give us a rush,
Just to make others believe we have blushed.

And then we put on our costume,
We want to impress and look awesome,
As if we had just blossom.

And for that night the world believes,
And we feel achieved,
So, we breathe.

The costume is tight on you,
But its not like anyone has a clue,
and to forget you drink more booze.

It comes to the end of the night;
And you scared many, thats right,
Its as if you could have started a fight.

And as you try and pull down the zipper,
The costume doesn't come off and you try it quicker,
And the zipper breaks and you suddenly become a kicker.

The costume has become part of your skin;
And now you've become what it is, within,
Nothing to do but just give in.

Your make up is as well stuck like a mask,
And no matter what you do it really will last,
Aren't you happy now? You've become part of the cast.

We scream because we want to get out,
But the smile painted on your face leaves you in doubt,
You feel like you just want to shout.

But the costume restrains you from moving in the wrong way,
It keeps you from running away,
And it makes the world believe in who you are for another day.

And yet you are trapped,
But still the world clapped,
In the inside it just felt like you were slapped.

And while looking in the mirror,
You fight with yourself to get out of the costume,
You take all the fake away.

You stare at your reflection; you take a knife and destroy the costume,
Then you hear a BOOM!,
And then you notice your reflection has not moved.

Consumed in a world of appearance,

we chose to be adherent,

And start becoming incoherent. 

The destroyers

It gives us shelter,
And we destroy it.

It meets our needs
and we ignore it.

And no matter how much we know,
we just remember to please ourselves.

And then it becomes a destroyer,
and there's no way we can get help from a lawyer.

Then we complain about its cruelty
when we thought of it not once before.

The waters rise,
And the sky cries.

And the trash consumes its floors,
And we slowly run out of hiding spots.

We happen to know what we are doing to ourselves,
It happens to be in our own bookshelves.

But no, we decide to ignore that,
Just to live more like spoiled brats.

We make our surroundings scream,
And everything just becomes pure heat.

The ice kingdoms melt away,
And things start to disappear.

What we knew is no longer in existence,
Now all we can do is look from a distance.

As we destroy what keeps us alive,
And to try and forget we decide to go out for a drive.

Mental Hospital

Walls covered in white,
You put up a fight,
And you see a flying kite.

You keep fighting the straitjacket,
Wanting to just fly in a rocket,
And forget you have the key in your own pocket.

All you see is the everything of nothing,
And you're afraid of what's coming,
But all you do is keep humming.

You move from side to side,
As if you were on a mind adventure ride,
And then you remember you were lied.

You keep pushing against the jacket,
But its impossible in your mind to set yourself free,
So you give in and forget about the key.

All you hear is silence,
And it reminds you of all the violence,
and you keep dancing to the thought of pain.

You push harder and harder against the material,
Until your arms hurt and you're dripping in sweat,
But nothing really changed.

Frustration comes into play,
And you wish the past could have stayed,
All that is left to do is pray.

All alone and by yourself you wonder why you?
And try to put together the clues,
Trying to get away from the obvious and the news.

Tears fall down your eyes,
Everything you've tried has been a lie,
You really just feel like you want to die.

And then you get used to the straitjacket,
We stop fighting it and adjust,
As if we needed more than just lust.

We are imprisoned in our own minds,
and we become completely blind,
but we search until answers we can find.

And we give up,
And in our minds we sweeten things with syrup,
More than enough.

The truth is too much to bare,
And the things we have found sound absurd,
so we decide to keep our knowledge altered.

While seeing a flying kite,
You stop putting a fight,
And now you just enjoy the ride.

Forgetting once again about the key in your pocket,
A key that can set you free,
But you decide to keep on your knees.

Frustration comes into play,

And you wish the past could have stayed,

All that is left to do is pray.

Tears fall down your eyes,

Everything you've tried has been a lie,

You really just feel like you want to die.

We are imprisoned in our own minds,

and we become completely blind,

but we search until answers we can find.

Sober

What is there to be understood?
But things look like they should,
Everything seems so good.

Feeling dizzy and off balance,
It pulls inside this one dimension,
Another world in our mind thats full of complexion.

And once again we fall,
And we hear one more call,
We get distracted and forget about restriction walls.

As if we ever cared,
About anything else since we usually just stare,
But our minds are never truly there.

And we forget that time keeps ticking,
And the clock never stops clicking,
and the world never stops spinning.

We get distracted with the noise,
And later we just get annoyed,
We become paranoid.

Because we remember too late that time ran away,
But we never tried to make time stay,
And it does not stop no matter what we say.

We fall in a deep hypnosis,
And we forget about what we did yesterday,
As if it never mattered to your today.

And so we make decisions,
And we decide to stay all drunk,
Because it is easier to just play stupid than to act up.

Life control

I think that it is safe to say that we've all  heard the same punch lines about 2,000 times and never have they turned out to be completely true. Is it just another trick or is it sincere? Is it just another game or is this serious? Sometimes, we know what the truth is but fail to accept it and convince ourselves into believing what makes us feel better. Convincing ourselves into lies that end up hurting us, because knowingly we went into our own trap. The signs were there and we chose to ignore them. Who are we to blame but ourselves, when everything was there and we decided not to see it? 

We try and make things look the way that we want them to and at times we imagine things that are not really there. Our minds play games with the truth just to try and make reality less cruel or more on what we want it to be. Our wishes somehow become part of our reality, wishes that are not really concrete and real. We let ourselves fall into an abysm, with no end. Its as if things were not complicated enough as they are, I've mentioned before that the world plays tricks on us and makes us believe in a distorted reality but our own selves are much more dangerous than our environment.

We are our own enemy at times, we forget the things that should be important and replace them with desires of our bodies. Simple things as eating sweets and gaining weight show an unbalance of management to our own bodies; showing that one is being driven by pleasure rather than by need. We eat to live, we don't live to eat and sometimes there is a big confusion between these two. This being just one example of how we can become our own enemy in the most simple of things. 

Sometimes we make ourselves excuses not to do things that matter or that are a priority in our lives. Our minds create a distorted view of the reasons why you did not accomplish what you had intended to accomplish before. This takes the guilt out of us, since in our minds we have reasons why we just could not make what we had planned become a reality. Nevertheless, usually we make ourselves the victims and forget about the importance of the things that we have to do every single day. As if this was not enough, we make excuses in our head for everything. See if these sounds any familiar:

"I'll do that later, I've worked too hard today"

"I'm tired, I'll just rest today and do that tomorrow"

"I should do that work today but I have something else I need to do first... maybe tomorrow"

"I made him feel bad... but he started it"

"I did not attend to her birthday but she was not there for mine"

"I forgot the keys... my maid put them elsewhere so its her fault" 

We create excuses for everything we end up not doing. We create excuses of excuses about things that we cannot get done simply because we are lazy and don't want to get them done. If there is something you need to do, then there will be time for it since you will make time for it. There is no excuses of any kind in the things that have priority in your life. 

Are you going to really stop working because you're tired? No... because you need the money for food and other expenses. Same thing works here, there is simply no excuse not to do what you are supposed to be doing.

If there is no time, then you're wasting time. There is no such thing as "I did not have enough time to finish it",  its all a lie. There is enough time in a day to finish everything one has to get done but you just have to focus on the things that are more important first. One thing we tend to do is that we distract ourselves with silly things... 

"THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A 4 HOUR BREAK" or  a "break" off work every hour for unlimited minutes. The one reason why we fail so badly at getting our lives organized is because we simply just don't have a structure in our lives. We love procrastinating and leaving everything to the last minute, THEN we happen to just stress about things because they don't turn out as great as you wanted them to.

Then one says thats gonna change next time.. and it doesn't. 

We make excuses, we make our own image of ourselves and we are not able to see through our own mistakes and weaknesses for most part but this is all because we choose for things to be this way.

Time for a change?

The facebook addiction

Once again we have found one more thing to keep posted on everyone else's life. Is it really necessary to go and see what every other one of your friends is doing every second of every day? Now everyone has a camera, as if to show off to someone else how good or how privileged their lives are. Its all like hollywood, as if the new best profile picture would get some kind of price. As if living one's lives and treasuring every moment was not enough, we feel the urge to just post to the world our entire lives and sometimes that leads us to actually enjoy the moments that are important and lose so much time in the process of recording everything.

We have to face that the presence of facebook is helpful when you want to keep in contact with people you have not seen in a long time or people you just don't see everyday and want to keep as part of your life. Nevertheless, it has become apparent that facebook has made us more of stalkers than people who just want to be informed. It makes me wonder how many people actually sit around looking at their news feed to see the new statuses that go up or just to be informed about the new relationship status and pictures. Facebook has become such a big part of our lives, it has taken over it almost completely. It happens to be in our phones, computers, and basically in our minds for most part of the day.

Millions of people have facebook, and the reason why is not to connect with one another but to show off themselves. Its as if you were selling off to the people you know, who you are and wanting to compete with every other person that . happens to be around also. I myself was a facebook addict, I would go on it every instance I could, would leave it on for hours and just waited when I was bored for news about my friends. But it made me realize how much of stalkers we are when we use it, and no one can really say that they are not one because the things that one does on it are that of a stalker... and I know you could argue its something public and people decide to put that information out there but still it just makes up for drama, misinterpretations and gossip.

Nevertheless all those three things I just mentioned are the one reason why it is so popular, the truth is that people love to be informed about everything. Its as if knowing more people makes you a better person because it just shows you've been around more and have more friends.

More friends = to more popular = more loved = happier.

For some reason we always look up to the people who are the happiest, usually the ones who party the most and do all the crazy things seem to be enjoying the most and those are the people who we seem to look as our role models. But is it really true that they are happy? Again we fall for illusions, behind all of the "fun" there happens to be people who are insecure of themselves, and who just rely on what people think of them. They are obsessed with being the center of attention and if they are doing all the crazy things (heavy drinking, late partying, drugs) then they are surely on their way of getting what they want.

And somehow we can never be completely happy with our own lives, and we end up throwing away the things that really matter to implement the things that we think will make us happier and just end up ruining us even more. This is not due to facebook, its what we make out of it that brings the worst in us. Human nature is just completely sad and annoying, we do things to get ourselves in situations where we then cannot get out of and end up making decisions that we will most likely regret later. And no matter how much someone tells you what I am telling you, or how many times you hear it; its as if you needed to go through all of it yourself in order to believe it.

So its pointless to tell you my own experience, but less facebook is more time in your own life rather than in the life of everyone else's, it makes you realize how much time you were wasting getting to be informed about things that served you in no way to be a better person or to living a better life. Who cares who went to Paris, when you could just go to Paris? Who cares who has two thousand friends when you probably know that they don't know half of them?
I rather have 2 friends that are real and that are there for me, rather than 2 thousand that don't know me or care for me.

But you do the math and think for yourself,
What's the true importance in your life?
Is it letting everyone else think you're happy OR being happy?
Is it showing everyone how pretty you are OR being real?
Is it showing off how much you've got on pictures OR living it?


Your choice.