Magic? Where are you?

I had not written anything in a long time. But I thought I would share these thoughts with you.

I still remember when I found out that Santa, the tooth fairy, and so many other magical things were not real. I felt crushed because these were the things I thought kept life a little more interesting and magical being a child. I suddenly started falling down a path that most go, asking who I was and why I was here on earth. Honestly figuring out who you are is much more difficult than what it appears. I often ask myself this question in order to something to continue fighting for. By all means this does not make me a perfect person, and I still wait to see the first person that is but it is a way to keep my head in perspective and match my actions to the person I wish to become. I remember feeling like this world was quite boring and sad without all the magical lies that had been such a big part of my life for so many years. So now what? I continued going to school, learning and growing up and suddenly life felt more like a routine with no end than a life that made me feel fulfilled and happy. 

Today it is all a routine full of responsibilities that need to be met and constant change. College and work taking most of my time as well as it does to most of us that fight for first class seat in the future. Its all something that needs to be done in order to live in the current society that we do, and it is perceived as the responsible and right thing to do. Countless nights without sleep because of studying, and the usual routine of everyday makes me forget sometimes the little things that make this world magical. It is true it is full of things that are far from magical, that do not need to be mentioned because it just common knowledge that they exist, but there are also so many beautiful things that happen everyday that we don't even notice. I have spent most of my life looking for some kind of paranormal phenomenon or some kind of big appearance that could explain it all up and make this life feel a little less boring. And there lies the problem itself, by not realising the little things that just make everything worthwhile. The hug that your parents give you good morning or goodnight, the kiss you receive from your grandparents, the sunset and the sunrise,  the beauty of the rain, the beauty of nature, the colors of the flowers, the not so usual rainbows that cover the skies, the little note saying I love you, the fact that you are alive and healthy, that you can walk and breathe, that you can see the stars in the sky at night, and so many other things. 

I believe that the magic in the world can be found where we stop and really see at what surrounds us rather than just looking. There is where the real magic lies, in the little things that make life special and beautiful. The magic of the early years never disappeared, our minds just grew too busy to really appreciate the true magic of the world.

Because we all expect for magic to be so big and shiny we dismiss the great magic that happens in front of our eyes every instant, every second.

A battle with forever.

Smiles fade as the picture has been taken,
Everyone starts their lives back again- faking.
Pretending to be actors,
Of their own imaginary factors.

There's the mother trying to keep the bonds together,
Thinking about her promise to forever,
And how she can make it work,
Not breaking the previous promise she had made.

She hides her hurt with smiles,
Misleading everyone around.
She fights and fights,
But cries through every night.

There is a father who is smiling at his child,
And after the picture is taken goes out for a bottle of wine.
Not any different in any way,
Its just a dejavu of what happens everyday.

He hides in his addictions,
To try and keep his image up to his competition.
He keeps himself away,
Trying not to think of how much forever will make him pay.

There is the husband's sister,
Living with this family makes her bitter.
Once the flash has finally faded,
The truth in her watery eyes is stated.

She just went through breaking a promise to forever,
Has a kid that she has to pull together.
Both live in this house of insanity,
Both living in fear of being tricked by forever.

Her mom left many years ago,
She's had to take care of her sister ever since.
And they both live in this house of broken smiles,
Just to give a show to whoever watches.

All trying to get one another,
And often forgetting about each other.
Somewhere in between the lines of war,
The happiness of the two little ones seems far.

One promise broken to forever,
Gets the crowd together,
And they observe with disgust,
That woman who has broken the trust.

The husband tries to keep his promise,
But his sister is going insane,
And he's too busy attending to the bottle's demands,
So he usually forgets and has no spare hands.

Everyday screams are heard from the walls of the apartment,
Even though silence is apparent.
You can hear the beating of the children and the breaking of glass,
Though everyone pictures them as high class.

Ironic how the family portrait just shows what others can see,
Showing that impressions are often not what they seem.
We'll see if forever is kept this time around,
Before happiness no longer can be found.

UNmeaningful words

How many times have we heard I love you?  How many times have we heard that we're special? How many times have we heard that we're different than the rest?
The true meaning of I love you has lost its value, because its not being used in the proper way. People who have no idea what true love is are saying these words as if they came for free and without consequence. Words have lost so much of their meaning in the past decade and have managed to affect different important aspects of society. Communication, relationships and learning have been greatly affected because of this change in meaning.

Fewer and fewer couples actually stay together these days, they get pressured and tired of each other too fast. But here is something to think about... what starts fast, ends fast. Relationships are not born over night, and they are not based on looks or money. Problem with us teenagers is that we fall in love with the idea of falling in love and our hormones don't really help us in this process. We fall easily for that one person who shows that he cares and who says all the things we want to hear. Endless load of meaningful words and promises fill our ears and we fall for all of it. We fall at first because what we hear has a big meaning to us and we would not be able to say these words without truly feeling this way, nevertheless that is not always the same from the person saying these words.

As a little girl I used to look forward to meeting my prince charming... innocence is a big thing. The only reason why innocence is so valuable is  because we have no idea what is really going on in the world and we have this fantasy world in our minds where everything is good and we all have happy endings. We did not understand words and their meanings and things were so much simpler. We understood the things that were necessary at the time for us, the things we needed to simply survive. Those times were easy times, just because we had no idea on what was going on... and sometimes being naive to our world is not that bad at all. Relationships are a lot easier to maintain when you are younger and conflicts are resolved playing rather than with speaking. Communication not always makes relationships easier to maintain, in fact it can make things more complicated.

As kids our world is perfect, no troubles and no concerns on anything else than toys and what we'll be eating today. Sometimes we look back at those days and wish we could go back to that for at least a day, I certainly do. The times where you did not have to think about the intentions that your friends might have to play with you, times where you did not care about what other people thought and you could be brutally honest and not care what people thought of what you said... Good days indeed. Days where we did not think about what we were going to say and how that next person was going to take it.

Problem with current times is how words have lost their meaning and have just been reduced to simply non valued words. Words do not have the same meaning that they had before because people have just used important words so commonly that they have just lost their importance. We're so used of saying and hearing "I love you" that it doesn't even mean the same anymore, its use is underrated.

We misuse words everyday, exaggerating what we truly are feeling and what we want. All of this influences how the next generation views words. Even inappropriate words have entered our everyday language, becoming more common around the world. Song lyrics even contain these inappropriate words, and young kids find themselves singing along to these songs, without understanding the true meaning of what they are saying. As we grow up, these words take up a different meaning in our minds, becoming sometimes far off from what its meaning was last decade.

Words are so important, that they can even change history. As society changes and with us our language, past history changes with us. Events in our minds happen in a different way or might have a different meaning to us. As words meanings change, we see our past differently making history even opinionated at times.

We often forget the true meaning of words, making communication so much more complicated. Conversations, relationships and learning are greatly affected by these changes in the meanings of our words and lead to misunderstandings.

Authentic

Where have the genuine people in the world gone to?
I have stopped searching for the truth.
People who seem your friends suddenly change their faces,
Its like to fool, you, they were chasing.

I am sick,
All they want is for you to be tricked.
Into believing they are who you think they are,
And just when you think you have, that image turns far.

In a world full of appearance,
I feel like the best thing is disappearance.
Being alone can't hurt you,
I wanna overthrow them in an army coup.

Dizzy and confused,
Dont know where to look.
Help I ask from above,
Because I can't do this alone.

No one can hurt me if I'm alone,
I wish I could have all control.
I take my hands and pray,
I want things to change.

But they don't,
The world keeps being like it is.
But to something I conclude I must succeed,
And that is... to myself proceed.

I might be a lot of things,
But I know who I am.
I will not let myself down,
Just because you think you are wearing the king's crown.

Rumors spill,
And people through my heart drill.
I thought I knew you,
But I confused you.

You took advantage of my trust,
And all I can do is look you with disgust.
You're vile,
And I just think you should get some kind of trial.

Words of who you are come out your mouth,
While you keep looking at the south.
Because you can't stare at other's people's eyes,
Since they would know you've lied.

But its all part of your plan,
To start up a clan.
Followers following the wrong leader,
For your kind I need no kind of meter.

Your words are sharp,
My words you warp.
You bend them into your own scenes,
Of things that have never been seen.

My life turns into your show,
Full of sculptures and scenes made up of snow.
You have bend them from my words I see,
But once again surprised I may seem.

As if I did not know what you would do,
I guess thats another one I had to prove.
Another test to try and show,
That all of you aren't made of snow.

But again I prove you have no mercy,
This must be your show's anniversary.
A pleasant circus you show the world,
My words are swirled.

Your world is made up of your words,
Made up of dramatizations of scenes that never happened.
You forget about what you want,
And give in to please what others wish to get.

You are so involved in your little scenes,
You forget about what's really real.
So you doubt in your own words,
You start believing the twisted snow scenes.

And you become a part of that imaginary world,
Your script is unfurled.
But the lines of lies are still apparent,
No matter what you do they don't go away.

Permanent marks on your script you have left,
Forever to follow you like debt.
Now you want to take back words that you said,
But no one believes in words that are dead.

Your story turns black and your world turns gray,
So I decide to stay.
Again I want to give you a chance,
So I let my conscience dance.

I want to prove myself wrong,
Not everyone can be bad.
Not everyone can be bad.
Until the truth hits me and its sad.

Your scripts have taken over my world,
But not my dignity.
Your scripts have taken over the people I thought I loved,
But I can still see a dove.

You might have won the battle,
But I'm winning the war.
So clip those lips and shut those stage red curtains,
The show is over until I say action.

Taking over my show,
But not for everyone I know.
Only for those who are at the front row,
The rest can just go.

I have the power right now,
I will be the one to throw.
I wish that I would have listened before,
Once again from the world I close my door.

I will trust myself,
And I look at all the books on my shelf.
Gonna find some new adventures in them,
And cut this world from the stem.

Sick and tired of the scripts,
My story to my heart I have clipped.
As long as I know what is in there,
I don't need the world to be fair.

Because I know what is in my heart notes,
But I hate the sounds from their throats.
So I close up and stop listening,
My heart starts glistening.

Must keep walking,
Forget about the shows.
Its time for you to know,
That I should go.

3g0

You have muscles,
In class you struggle.

You're scared of the dark,
From reality you keep running.

You live in the society dream,
Your life leading into the wrong stream.

You think you're hot,
You're so not.

You think you're so smart,
When your mind from reality is so damn far.

Today you think you're so cool,
You look like a fool.

You stare at the world as if was inferior,
But when reality hits, it will hit you like a meteor.

You think you rule the world,
When the world rules you.

For some reason I still wish you all the best,
When I know that's not what you'll get.






You think that the world owes you something? Think again... It was here before you. It owes you nothing.

One step forward twelve back

I take a step forward,
Feeling kind of awkward.
I still feel like its right,
I feel like success I can bite.

But I doubt,
And my reason starts to shout.
I start to just think out loud,
I wonder if I should just back-out.

I weigh my chances,
And I start to lose balance.
I'm starting to feel dizzy,
But everyone to notice is to busy.

I am afraid I might trip,
But my lips I zip.
I manage to take the step,
But thoughts intercept.

I don't know what to say,
But I think I just need to obey.
I weigh again my options,
Thinking of the signs of caution.

I should have just made the steps without thinking,
Connections I start linking.
Its hard to understand what I am feeling,
With thousand of unresolved thoughts I am dealing.

I won't be here forever,
But I don't want to look back and think I said the word never.
I refuse to let this one go,
But I am unsure if I should just go with the flow.

I dont know what to do,
Of nothing I have a clue.
I wonder why I can't just walk ahead,
And I run out of things to say.

One step at a time,
Slowly I know I can make it.
But fear I have of falling,
And I feel my past calling.

So I forget about of taking that step,
And I run away.
One step forward,
Twelve steps back.

Just a dream

I think about you and me,

I can smell the flowers in the breeze. 

Everything is just as its supposed to be,

All perfect is what I see.

I wonder when my eyes will open again,

As my ego is in chains.

And finally myself I can show, 

Smiling I finally bow. 

I set my walls down,

I finally take off my crown.

I feel free somehow, 

Myself to fly through I allow. 

I let myself speak,

And forget if he might think I'm a freak.

I let the words flow, 

Through a reflection I see myself glow. 

I can stare into your eyes, 

To you I can never really lie. 

I've never had to say anything,

You already knew everything.

A perfect day indeed, 

But for you to say something I need.

And before you can say any words I can hear,

Everything turns too clear. 

Your image starts to fade away,

I wish you could have stayed. 

The light comes too bright to be able to see,

All I can do is agree.

I hear a voice, 

To open my eyes I have no choice.

Its so unfair, I want to scream!

It was only a dream.