A hit to the soul

You’ve known him for years,

And you’ve gone through so many nights of tears.

You’ve thought about leaving more than once,

But never managed the thought of being gone.

For some reason you think that the last time would be the last,

And in your mind you think it’s all in the past.

He hurt you badly last time,

But you blame yourself for not being sufficiently nice.

In a corner you cry,

Waiting for the next big fight.

You wonder if you’re going to die,

You really just want to fly.

You tell yourself that you will be fine,

And that the last time was the last time.

But you can’t stare at the door too long,

And to distract yourself you start singing a song.

But you remember he doesn’t like when you sing,

And so you shut your mouth quickly and forget blink.

You’re hands are shaking,

As dinner you are making.

His favorite dinner you are preparing,

You’re wondering if things will start changing.

You convince yourself that changes he is making,

And that it’s not all just him faking.

And you hear his footsteps through the door,

Your hearing has become extra sensitive since the time he accidentally pushed you to the floor.

You hear him approaching the kitchen,

And you start moving around like a chicken.

Your eyes start tearing,

And your hands start shaking tremendously.

You drop the pan to the floor,

And you wonder if he will push you out the door.

You burned your hand,

But it isn’t the reason for your tearing.

The pain in your heart is overpowering,

And hysterically you do not stop crying.

You put your burned hand in your mouth,

And beg yourself to please shut up,

He hates it when you cry,

He’s going to get mad.

You know what happens when he gets mad,

And you drop to the floor flat.

Anger you can feel coming in the room,

And to make you feel better you start thinking about the moon.

He raises his hands and dances with you towards the kitchen table,

But you know that of worse turns than this he is capable.

He dances with your body practicing new moves with his fists,

And tears you can’t resist.

You say that he has changed,

And that this dance you deserved.

Pain you feel on your neck,

But you know you deserved the peck.

The dinner was bad and that’s why he got mad,

And to the floor to cry you just fall flat.

Lovingly he grabs onto your neck and whispers in your ear,

How this is all your fault and how you should not fear.

But you don’t back out,

You still are waiting for change and change never comes.

You just stay in your room,

And to make you feel better you keep thinking of the moon.

Your heart hurts and your eyes have not stopped crying,

But you say that he’s hit you again without trying.

Over and over again you go through the events that caused you pain,

And everyday you doubt if you’re still sane.

You shake every single day wondering what excuse he’s going to make,

You just want to run away.

But you think things are going to change,

And again you doubt if you’re still sane.

You crumble into a small ball in your carpet floor,

Just wishing for him not to open the door.

You wonder if he could see you from where he was standing,

And again without further notice his fists in your face are landing.

That was his last beating,

You knew he would never touch you again.

You tell yourself that you are fine,

But your head is more than dizzy this time.

This time your silent screams are heard,

And your neighbors start getting concerned.

They have not seen you in days,

But somehow the bills are still being paid.

He leaves you in the corner,

And you wonder if it’s finally over.

You feel nothing anymore,

But your body is not responding.

You tell your muscles to work,

But this time there’s nothing you can do.

You wonder if someone will find you before its too late,

And you wonder why there is light if it’s not day.

You never spoke up,

You kept your mouth shut.

And today others are doing the same,

Wondering if they are still sane.

They all know what happens when he gets mad,

And they drop to the floor knowing what will happen.

The can feel the same anger coming in the room,

And to make them feel better they start thinking of the moon.

They look at the moon as if it was their last hope of light,

And they forget to put up a fight.

Then it becomes too late,

All because they believed he was part of their fate.

There is never, EVER an excuse for a man to lay hands on a woman. There are millions of women who are being abused of everyday. If you know of anyone who is being abused in any way, speak up; you never know if you are saving someone's life by doing so.